Blogs

Today I was thumbing through my wifes JCREW catalog; the usual preppy over priced attempted east coast/hampton summerline they've pimped for the last twenty years. Nothing really new, till I got to the CREWCUTS section....thats right folks JCREW now has a line for children.

Nothing truly suprising there either I guess, its a simple product line extension. Gap has them, Old Navy, etc... Frankly you'd be stupid not to have a childrens line. What flabbergasted me was one particular item.

The "Striped-Silk Posey Pouf Skirt"

It appears that the conan obrien video has been "yoinked!"
update: errr maybe not?

Its nice to see another MN musical artist/group blowing up other than TapesnTapes.

The Current a local public radio station here in the twin cities has always had them in the rotation, but finally these guys are starting to get some airwave on the national stage.

Its about time.

*Pimping aint easy
- It turns out that in order to "pimp" you need "bitches" and said "bitches" have to be "turned out"...I in fact know very few "bitches" and have no idea how one would go about "turning them out".

* Its hard out here for a pimp
-see above

*You can't turn a ho into a housewife
- True story, I tried once but ended up with an itchy rash...not sure if it was due to a STD or wearing dirty underwear for a week straight. Luckily I was able to get the whole thing annulled for pair of converse sneakers and a wendy's double cheeseburger.

///this concludes my wisdom leak.

Is Horatio Cane Dead?
-did Jerry Bruckheimer run out of stock footage of David Caruso putting on and taking off his sunglassses?

Which member of the Criminal Minds team was blown up in their Tahoes?
-I bet GM paid enough for product placement that nobody dies, cause Tahoes are just that tough.

What happened to Gary Sinise in CSI NY, will the hostage taker kill him?
-maybe Forrest will run up on that SOB and judo chop his ass with a box of chocolates?

I can't take any more of these friggin open ended cliffhanger season finales. I am living my own cliffhanger waiting on this real estate transaction to close. The inspection came back so/so but we are pressing forward. The FHA appraisal happened yesterday but we still haven't heard. All things coming together and we'll be in a new home next thursday.

flickr image courtesy of Mason Bryant

Why do the guys in the production booth think that they have to bump up the high frequencies. Seriously next time you are watching a NBA game close your eyes and zone out the play by play banter.

Do you hear the dribble of the ball?

Do you hear the guy slinging peanuts?

What do you hear? Squeakity Squeeek Squeekerton..... nothing but a bunch of fricking high pitched squeaks. Its like a f*cking coke fueled cricket orgy on that wood floor. I don't have a dog but I would bet that its pert near torture on our furry friends or people with big ears for that matter.

So sound editors of the NBA productions I implore you, for the goodness of my hearing turn down the levels on the high frequencies....please.....do it....DO IT!

So finally after nearly 4 weeks of waiting to hear from the bank/sellers regarding the offer we put in we've finally got an answer sort of. The word is that we have a verbal agreement with a written offer soon to come. The problem lies in how long it took for them to accept or offer and the terms of their counter offer.

Their counter offer/acceptance carries the caveat that the home must close by May 29th. Thats right folks today is May 14th, we still don't have the written acceptance and now we need to close in 15 days. After talking with our mortage broker and our real estate agent we think its possible. But it is a lot of hoops and a short time to jump through them in.

Part of me wants to decline the offer and make the bank/sellers go to foreclosure but that part isn't is strong as the part of me that wants the damn house. And were full circle to "F*ck these F*ckin Bankers" The worst part is that if the hud inspection comes back with things needing attention...I'm fairly sure we're gonna be the ones footin the bill.

Tonight was my first Pizza Luce experience of spring. Round these parts (Uptown) a major rite of passage come spring is to walk down to Luce and indulge in a few rounds of refreshing libations followed by an always delectable pizza.

In years past my pre-pizza patio drink of choice was wine. A rose from spain, an oaky chilean chardonnay....I didn't think a more satisfying drink could be found to enjoy with a warm breeze and an inviting patio. Tonight I switched gears....wine was out I was having beer. Since we ordered "The Luce" pie with banana peppers, I figured I better pick out a crisp refreshing number. I settled in on the Surly Furious.

It was nice to hear that re-iterated at Minnebar yesterday. The panelists during the "State of tech in the State" were refreshingly honest. They pointed out the need for business plans and that simply building a service to be acquired by one of the big three was not a wise direction. The alpha geek in the middle even got props from the crowd when he stated that he was sick of social/ user generated content sites.

Although I do generally agree with the fact that social software is overblown and that the roll-up business model of being acquired by a larger corporation is a failing one; I am not willing to say web 2.0 is not a business model.

"....And the Pharmy goes to FLOMAX"

Seriously how can you not love the marketing for Flomax...the people responsible for the marketing of that drug hit a homerun.

First lets start with the name....FLOMAX say it with me...F.L.O.W.M.A.X. ...hell I can empty my bladder like a supersoaker in the hands of 5th grader but that doesn't stop me from wanting to try this drug. There is no possible way that you could have come up with a better name for a bladder problem drug.

Put that together with one of the single most effective sales techniques...asking a question, insinuating that your product has the answer. Two little words folks thats all it takes.

Weak Stream?

Who hasn't wanted a richer frothier stream.

So here I am watching these extreme skiing and snowboarding chicks on the telly. They are cutting fantastic lines, droppin nice cliffs and overall rocking their socks off. These girlys can tear up a mountain...kind of hot!! but the honeymoon is short, they cut to the interview parts and all you hear over and over in all manners of accents is "man you get up there and look down and its sick, and you get here or there and your stoked" what a let down, listening to these girls talk. Its like someone came along and stole all their adjectives.

The terms "Sick" and "Stoked" single handedly sum up the X-gamification of extreme sports. I love watching people get serious air and knock out some freshies with the best of them, but I can't handle all the crappy lingo.

Dang those Bankers!

We put in an offer on a decent little house in St. Louis Park...but unfortunately the house is a short sale. We put our offer in two days before the home was set to go to sheriffs sale(foreclosure). The sellers agent and the seller(lender) did postpone the foreclosure till the 30th of May. But they didn't give us an acceptance on our offer. Since the home will go to sheriffs sale on the 30th the home sale needs to close by the 29th.

So here we sit waiting to hear if our offer has been accepted, knowing full well that each day that the bank(seller) waits on our offer gives us less time to get our inspections, and mortgage closed. Nevermind the fact that we have waited for over week for a response on our offer.

Actual Lyrics:
shawty wanna thug
bottles in da club
shawty wanna hump
you know i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
(she lick me like a lollipop)
shawty wanna thug
bottles in da club
shawty wanna hump
you know i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps

Minnesotan Translation:
That young woman is looking for a strong man who isn't too metro sexual
She occasionally would like a fella to buy her a drink or two at the bar
She probably might want to have sex
Are you drunk enough that I can touch your breasts?
She is performing fellatio like my penis is a candy sucker.
Don't ask first if you can kiss her....just kiss her.
Lets have another drink darlin
Are you game for lowering your expectations tonight....if your down...I'm down
I sure would like to touch your breasts.

This past friday we threw a party at our apartment. Nothing special, the usual ....beer, redbull, jager and wine mostly. As with all parties our fridge was left with a few stragglers. Today I was thirsty after a long day and against my better judgement I grabbed a Leinys berry wiess. Now I know what your thinking...and I was thinking it too...but I thought....It can't be that bad?

Its Worse!

Honestly I couldn't even swallow the first sip. It was like a spoonful of jelly mixed with a spritz of miller light. Seriously who the fuck drinks this stuff. I guess thats why there was 5 bottles of a six pack left. I promptly poured the rest of the bottle down the drain.

So my question is this....who the hell drinks all these juice/beer combos. Miller Chill, Leinies berry weiss and summer shandy to name a few. Is anyone over the age of 24 actually drinking this stuff or is it simply an attempt to latently market to kids?

I guess I shouldn't call the kettle black...I vividly remember drinking Zima with Jolly Ranchers roughly 15 years ago.