Augusts Douchebags are..

Freakin Search Engines-
Seriously search engines are the loan sharks of the information age. Yahoo changes their algorithm and my site drops of the face of the planet. Poof like that, I don't exist. I guess its not really that big of deal; cause apparently to the "Almighty G" I must not pass muster anyways. Their organic results are nearly impossible to game, and the paid click uh yeah.
Thats where the strong arming really comes into play. Google Adwords just changed the way that they determine what results get placed at the top of the Que. What does that mean...basically it means that a site that I manage now has to pay more than 75% percent more to get the same results that we used to. Search Engines are the city planners of the information superhighway. With a tweak of their proprietary algorithm, the off ramp gets closed, they rip up the pavement on your mainstreet and the entire traffic stream is detoured. If your a web only commerce site, your livelihood is gone, gone.

May, June & Julys Douchebag are..

The laziest months on teh calendar-
The months of May, June & July respectively....short of shooting off fireworks and the anniversary of my birth; I never really cared for them that much! Lazy, slovenly effen hot...good for-nothing months is ya ask me.

Aprils Douchebag is..

Alberto Gonzales-
Honestly, how is he not gone yet. "I had no discussions....about that issue"....umm except that one meeting that we scheduled to discuss that matter...seems like Gonzo may not be the best lawyer. You would think he would have the good sense to look through outlook sent messages before he issues a contradictory statement like that one. I think the whole problem really stems from his lack of mustachioed prowess. It's like Mellencamp without the "cougar"; Gonzo without the mustache is powerless.

If this page seems like one gigantic white space...you can thank Internet Explorer the security hole ridden browser. Internet Explorers lack of web standards and CSS make this website look either like a blank page or one that was written by a toddler with crayons. Do yourself a favor, download Firefox and never look back.

Rennesaince Fair People
Rennesaince Fair People

Snarfers you know who they are; it might be that a-hole that takes the turn lane on the freeway all the way to the last minute while everyone else is stopped in the other two lanes, it could be the bastard that cuts in front of you at the meat counter at the super market. For some reason this person thinks that there time is worth more than everyone else. This no talent ass clown has no problem putting thier needs ahead of everything, even at the expense of the system...these folks are the very reason for the backup on the freeway. You my friend are my douche bag of the day, may karma take a big dump on you!

My Douchebag of the Year goes to..

Seung-hui Cho
This guy might actually take the top prize of Douchebag of the Year...wow what a fuckwad...words cannot even begin to describe how I feel about someone who is capable of doing what Seung-hui Cho did in Blacksburg, VA. People will say that it was brought on by domestic issues, stress, pressure of college, maybe even caused by video games....and were does that leave us...nowhere! There will always be bitchy girlfriends, deadlines, and violent video games. Thats the problem with senseless violence...we have no answers no closure. The fact is that if someone is a homicidal maniac and wants to kill, nothing is going to predict that or stop it.
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